DADDY SAID

DADDY SAID, “SANTA IS NOT COMING TO OUR HOUSE!”

"Children are using the "E" word, and it is not Elmo!"

How does Santa answer these and other questions?

By “Santa Hollywood” Tim Connaghan

In many homes across America children are looking towards the Christmas season and thoughts are of toys, games and fun. But in other homes, other children are expressing worries.

They worry because they are hearing the ‘E’ word. And unfortunately the ‘E’ word they are hearing is not ELMO.

They are hearing the word “Economy.”

They over-hear their parents mentioning the “Economy.” Usually it is in hushed discussions.

And sometimes, in the same discussions, the words, Holiday, Christmas, Santa Claus and Presents are also mentioned. Sometimes the children hear or see stories in the media.

During the past few years, the problems with the economy have prompted editors and reporters to question Santa on how he was going to handle this problem. I started receiving calls and inquiries from these editors and reporters wanting to know how the economy might be affecting Christmas and in particular Santa Claus.

The reason the calls came to me, is that I direct and teach one of the world's largest Santa Schools. The reporters wanted to know what I was doing to teach my Santas how to handle this problem.

The main question asked both last year and now is, “What will Santa say or explain to a child, should the child say, “I’m not supposed to ask you for anything big this year.” Or, heaven forbid, “Daddy said you are not coming to our house this year!”

A year ago I surveyed my fellow Santas to see how they might handle this problem.* And again this year, with my annual survey, I added a few follow-up questions. The report from over 400 Santas, Father Christmas, and St. Nicolas, presented their thoughts and suggestion on what a Santa might say to a child, should they mention they heard Santa was not coming this year, or they have been told there would be little or no presents this year.

Between the two surveys I received over 700 comments, which I have condensed down to a few simple and practical suggestions on how Santa might handle this problem, should it arise in talking with a child or their parent. These answers are also being shared among the Santa community.

In my over forty years as a Santa, and within my school, I teach Santas how to talk to children and how to answer their questions.

For decades Santas have been handling tough questions from the children. “My parents are divorced; can you bring them back together?” “Daddy is in the military at war. Can you bring him home?” “Grandma died, Can you bring her back?” Add to this, natural disasters and now the economy and you have quite a list of problems that Santas must address. So you can see, it’s not just sitting in a chair and smiling for the Camera.

And what is even more difficult is that Santa has to welcome the child, pose for the photo, listen to the child’s wish or request, and give an answer that will hopefully give the child an optimistic outlook on the situation. And Santa has to do this in one minute or less.

Children have always considered Santa to be a person they could trust and confide in. In preparation for meeting children most Santas try to prepare themselves to handle difficult questions, such as divorce, a death in the family and now how to respond to economic situations. In truth, it is not a new situation, but rather something that surfaces every once in a while.

Many Santas in responding to this survey expressed a concern that it is totally wrong for any parent to tell a ‘believing child’ that St. Nicholas, Santa or Father Christmas may skip their home this year. No child will ask this type of question unless it has been prompted by an adult.

Psychologists will tell you that some children, if told Santa was not coming, will often assume that they have done something wrong and may even think that Santa’s non-appearance is a way of punishing them. For this reason alone parents need to be careful. A child should never be put in a situation where they are left to believe something is their fault when it is not.

It is hard to believe that in today's world that anyone would tell their child that Santa would skip their house when there are so many ways to get help children from local groups and agencies.

Many Santas in the survey responded with feelings that most parents who truly love their children will never tell a child that Santa will not visit this year. And, even with the economic pressures they face, parents will explain that the size of the gift is not what is important and that no matter what, Santa will visit and there will always be something from Santa on Christmas morning.

Add to this one important aspect to Santa’s job: Making sure that each child visiting him leaves with some level of confidence, that Santa listened and come Christmas morning they will be some form of surprise under their Christmas tree.

Since long before Nicholas and Christianity people from all backgrounds have chosen to help others. As the legends and stories of St. Nicholas were embraced by his followers, the spirit of holiday giving has encompassed the earth.

Through the centuries Christmas has encountered years and even decades of war, famine, economic difficulties and hardships.

Yet every year, come the morning of December 25, children the world over wake to find that they were not forgotten and that someone, be he St. Nicholas or Santa Claus, has left something in their stocking or under the tree. Something with their name on it.

Yes, even in the most desperate times of poverty there is no excuse for denying a child the gift of love (and/or of a small toy or candy or home-made cookies)!

The overall response from the survey is that Santa must assure the children that he is going to visit every child’s home on Christmas Eve. As always, Santa can’t promise anything, but he should let the child know that there will be some sort of surprise on Christmas Morning. And it doesn’t matter whether the gift be big or small; what matters is that Santa remembered!

Here are a few suggestions that some Santas have said they might use if a child expresses some concern or worry:

· “Since the beginning of time there have always been little problems, but that hasn’t stopped Santa. Don’t worry; I will have a surprise for you on Christmas morning.”

· One Santa suggested that Santa always end a visit with, "Santa loves you and will do the best he can to meet your request." He added; if possible try to give the children a nice hug.

· A child should never leave Santa's lap thinking he will be skipped!!!!!

· “I think I know the perfect gift for you this year and I'm going to make it a surprise.” One suggestion is that Santa not even ask the child what they want, knowing full well that there is an economic situation. In this way Santa does not promise anything and leaves the gift selection up to the parent or to what the parent can obtain from Toys for Tots, Spark of Life or many of the other agencies that assist families.

· Often Santa cannot leave his chair due to the long lines of children and families. However, a few Santas expressed a hope that they might be able to leave for just a few moments to visit the parent or parents. They wanted to let them know Santa is thinking of them and also to ask that they contact their church, school, fire department or some agency that can help supply a toy or tow. The important thing is to have something for the child come Christmas morning.

· A child should never expect to get everything they ask for. Yes, Santa does try to answer everyone’s request, but he has to be fair with all children and distribute all the toys equally. “Santa may not always bring you what you want, but he will definitely try to give you what you need.”

· A strong section of the Santas commented on the Christian aspects of Christmas and suggested that everyone, both the children and the parents be reminded of the true “Reason for the Season,” the birth of Christ.

· Santa should remind everyone that the true gift of Christmas is God's Love and the love of our family. If it's inappropriate to share the Christian view, Santa still can emphasize that love and family are the most important.

· “The important thing about Christmas is not about getting gifts, it is about giving and of love for our fellow man. The gift of love is very special and it is free, something we can all give away.”

· “Although Santa's presents may not be as plentiful this year as before please remember Santa loves all children and “Love for all” is the main reason for Christmas.”

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* All Surveys and data collected were via a Constant Contact Online Survey distributed to 2,280 Santa across the United States and in Canada. Over 400 Santas responded with statistic answers and over 700 written comments.

A special Note to members of the Media:

Should you look to producing a story about this subject, I would like to ask that you consider creating a side bar or a web links to sources your readers or viewers can go to make contributions or donate toys, or for families to request toys for their children.